Motherhood and guilt unfortunately go hand in hand. It’s a daily struggle trying to be Mrs Everything to everyone, and there comes a point when you need to start putting yourself first.
I brought three kids into the world in 3.5 years, ran a busy home and worked long hours. I was barely holding it together, before I realised something had to give. I knew that if I kept going I would be of no use to anyone. I love my family, and because of that love I finally accepted that I would be a happier person and a better mum if I had some proper balance.
The solution is actually quite simple –
Most women often baulk when I mention this. Often, the reasons boil down to that motherly guilt they feel – I should be able to handle this myself / I work from home so I should do the cleaning too / I can’t afford to hire someone to do the ironing / won’t I be missing out on my kid’s lives if I hire a babysitter?
Stop! That kind of self-talk is just rubbish.
Instead of feeling guilty for wanting help at home, ask yourself these questions:
- Would I be a happier, better mum if I wasn’t so tired?
- Would my kids be happier and more content if the 3 hours I spend on the weekend cleaning and yelling at them to help, were spent just hanging out and having fun?
- Would my husband be absolutely thrilled if I hired a cleaner and a babysitter and then had enough energy for a raunchy night out?
If large parts of your week are taken up by tidying up, cooking, ironing, cleaning, shopping – have a good think about outsourcing them. On average employing someone to help you with these tasks will cost you around $20 an hour.
With the time you save, you will have the time and energy to spend on the things you love. Hang out with your kids and have some quality time. Hire a babysitter and reconnect with your partner. Or, use the time to continue building your own business. It’s simple – buy yourself some freedom to do the things you love.
Kate Christie, the Queen of Outsourcing, is founder and owner of Babysitters and More, an online service connecting busy people with local cleaners, housekeepers, babysitters, nannies, personal carers, pet carers and other home helpers. Contact Kate for further information on Outsourcing your ‘stuff’.